We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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