Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
