sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Randomize
