i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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