i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
