Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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