"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
