You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
