Jerry, you need to find god
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize