that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I want a musical about memes.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize