I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
