its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
