Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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