I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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