Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
