with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize