i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
