Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
