What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
