Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
