Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
