so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
