my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
