On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
