No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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