i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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