ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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