Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
