Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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