Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize