omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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