In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
