I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
