what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
