my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
