I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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