I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
