Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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