I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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