What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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