Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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