yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Randomize
