I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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