I only kidnapped one of them. chill
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
