i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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