Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
