but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
