Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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