You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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