rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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