Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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