The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
