he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You pole danced in your parka.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
