She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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