You work out of a Hotel?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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