so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize