His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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