Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
