I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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