my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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