I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
