No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
