haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
